Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
