dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
