Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
