i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
