How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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