My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Can I color on your dick again?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
