this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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