Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
