I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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