North Korea, Best Korea!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
