and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
