So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
