whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I CAN MOONWALK!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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