What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
