Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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