You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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