I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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