what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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