i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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