oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
