you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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