What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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