I look better un-naked...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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