??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
