I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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