so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
