Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
