my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
