hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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