I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
there is puke in my bra ... again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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