Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
