let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
