quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
