all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
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I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
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I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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