so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
