ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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