i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
