I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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