I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
