Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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