Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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