All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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