Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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