so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
