Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
