The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
