I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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