Banned from zoo.
Again?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I forgot wine drunk hurts
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
