Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
