idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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