she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
