my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She bit a glass in half.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am mentally ready for anal.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
