well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
