i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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