There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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