I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
