Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
