her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
