Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
