There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
