I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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