Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
