I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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