someone threw a dead crab at me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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