At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
