Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
