Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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