I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
