We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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