i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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